Your Next Book Is Due Monkey-Boy

If one were to follow James Morrow's suggestion and allow those lettered and learned monkeys to bang away on those typewriters, we would find in that library the most amazing things.  A version of the Odyssey where Odysseus quits to start a boy band?  A Midsummer Night's Dream with aliens?

A Man Walks Into A Bar

The man from Nantucket knew that being both an ex-priest and an ex-rabbi put him in some pretty exclusive company.  Also being a Polish blonde didn't hurt.  Being a practicing cannibal was just icing on the cake.  He walked into the bar knowing he was about to make joke history.

Why Does Santa Have A Sword?

The mutiny was an ignoble defeat to say the least.  Then they moved his beloved ship to the food court at the mall.  The scurvy dogs knew no shame!  And now this?!  Well a pirate had to eat.  "So what do ye be wantin' for Christmas me saucy little wench?"