What A Ride

As I sent Grandma's wheelchair racing out of control down the hill towards the barbed-wire I felt serene.  This was something I had wanted to do for a long time.  The empty chair crashed spectacularly.  Of course she wasn't in it!  What kind of monster do you think I am?!

Scarlet Letter-esque

These days I just try to keep my head down and my hood pulled forward over my face.  I've had enough trouble for a lifetime.  There were few Dwarven realms left but I was not welcome in any of them. When they shaved off my beard they effectively excited me.

Believe Me, In Space, I've Heard Plenty Of Screams

We never did figure out where the creature came from or our how it got on our spaceship.  We only knew that it hunted us through the claustrophobic corridors, feeding on us, one by one.  The worst part was it was the only ship that escaped the destruction of earth.

Bad Technique

Dating is hard these days.  The last woman I dated apparently didn't like my tender but surprising little kisses.  I would playfully sneak up behind her and deliver a quick peck.  The ears and ankles were my favorite targets.  She thought they were very irritating.  So much for "mosquito kisses".