Midnight Stroll

The vampire effortlessly glided through the darkened city streets, each passerby a mobile street light. Their life force was a luminescence that drew his hunger but hurt his eyes. The lights wouldn't go out for him till the end of the world. He would eventually starve to death in darkness.

Why Is He Such A Jerk?!

Everyone thought I was an a-hole; and it was true!  I worked very hard at it.  Parking in two  handicapped spaces, peeing on the seat in the restroom.  I wanted to do people the ultimate kindness.  When I passed, at worst they wouldn't cry, and best, they'd celebrate!  You're welcome.

Famous Last Words

I've always admired people that have amazing last words. I can barely string together a coherent sentence when ordering dinner, much less when I'm facing my ultimate demise. That's why prerecorded last words linked to my heartbeat seemed like such a great idea. Too bad they were "is this on?"