Who Needs A Resume?

So I got my current job through a girl who forced it from her ex-boyfriend because he still lived with her.  It felt like an all around win.  He got to help his girl, she got to be controlling, and I got the best case of sexually transmitted employment ever.

Golem Not Gollum

After the failure that was my straw golem, I created a paper golem. I didn't think it through though. It turns out that a paper golem is just a book. I left him out, my wife read him, and that was all she wrote (pun intended). Maybe a brick golem...

Concept Vaccination

How is it that I can take something that exists in my head and translate it through another medium (or two) and now it exists in your head?  What if we accidentally developed a vaccine to prevent those ideas?  No more new concepts changing the world. Mental stagnation. Game over.

Beer Name Or Sex Act?

Headytopper is one of my favorites. Who cares if it's a beer or sex act?  As far as my taste buds are concerned, it's both.  (It's a beer.)  It would definitely pay to research these things more.  Ordering a blumpkin turned ugly. I'm definitely not welcome back in that brewery!